feelin the urge 2 blog

I'm happy n excited 4 Eeyore cause he got a job. At the same time though I'm kinda worried I will not be able 2 c him as much . My Dad made a comment 2day that kinda got 2 me . He said now that Eeyore has a job he is gonna drop me like a wet towel . :(
I really hope this doesn't happen . I love my Eeyore . :)

Acceptin the apolgy

I want Eeyore 2 know I accept is apology . I also hope he realizes there are other ways of dealin w stress n issues. I wish he would have just talked 2 me n let me know what was goin on . I'm not sure if he knows it cause he said he doesn't ever hurt n e one but himself . He might only harm himself physically but when he cut himself it had a huge emotional effect on me . He hasn't completely alienated my family because they still let him come over. I love him so much n hope he realizes what he means 2 me n that he can talk 2 me about n e thing even if he believes it will hurt me . It honestly did hurt me emotionally when he cut himself even seein it a day after he had done it was hard on me. I had 2 hold back tears . I hope he thinks more rationally next time n tells me whats goin on . However I accept his apology n want 2 let him know Im sorry also even though he says I had nothin 2 do w it n he was just stressed. I love u Eeyore !!!!!

I'm sorry love

Recently i harmed myself and i feel like i have alienated my carebear's family, i realized i feel so bad i just did something wrong that i used to do from my childhood, i have tried to repress the depressive feelings and a few days ago i cut myself, i was so scared. i told carebear i didn't want to be with her, but it was not rationally thought out. i love my carebear and do not want to leave her side ever she is an amazing person. i love her, and i hope she will take my apology... I LOVE you carebear

sad, depressed, not sure what 2 do !!!!!!

I'm totally confused !!!! Eeyore totally freaked the hell out . I have no idea what the hell stared it. But he apparently cut himself . He got the knife from my house n I had thought he had put it back . But apparently not. He doesn't think he it gets 2 me when he does stuff like this !!! But obviously he doesn't know cause it totally stresses me out n makes me sad n depressed!!!! I wish I knew the reasonin behind it all n why the hell he did it???? He says he still wants 2 be together . I do 2 but at the same time I don't want my kids around him when he act's like that . I do love him though

Happy

It seems 2 me that our relationship is gettin better. Last week was a kinda rough week Eeyore was pretty down 4 2days in a row last wk n it was sad cuz he cried. It seems like this wk has been a better wk so far n Eeyore doesn't think I seem distant n e more. I was playin around w him 2night bout some nakey playin cards we played w cuz he had stated he liked the cards more than me or at least that's what I took it as . He says he meant that he thought that is what I thought . He says it is not true n I'm fine w it now . I am tryin 2 be more upfront n honest bout my feelins I love my Eeyore!!!!

The reasonin behind it all

Eeyore thinks I am distancing myself 4rm him which I am not. I just haven't been feelin good lately n have alotta stress. He also thinks I have been actin different since he tried 2 hurt himself which might be a little true cuz it's just very disturbin that he tries 2 do stuff like that n also I think it was a dumb reason he tried 2 do it he tried 2 do it over his cell phone bein temporarily messed up n it was fixed w in 20 mins . I do still love him . I just wish he would stop thinkin crazy stuff like that I hate him n don't wanna be w him be cause it is not true n it adds 2 my stress level . I do love him a lot n I love what he got me 4 Easter. I dnt know if part of the reason he was actin like that was cuz what I got him 4 Easter. I thought it was kinda dumb what I got him but I didn't have much money n the card had
a lot of meanin . He doesn't realize that it hurts me when he thinks I don't love him n care about him cuz I do I just hide me emotions really well

hurt, tried not to show it but did

I realize my carebear loves me, but i feel she is distancing herself from me and i don't know why... i love her so much and don't want the relationship to end, and am scared that i will ruin it. i was crying today and tried to hurt myself and now my carebear is acting way different. i hope she doesn't leave me, i don't know what i would do...

Hurt but tryin not 2 show it.......

It's easier 4 me 2 write bout my feeling's than it is 2 talk bout em . I was really hurt by a few of the thing's Eeyore said 2 me 2night.:(:( And it really hurt me 2 see him cry even tho he probably dnt think it did. I do care about him n love him n wish he would realize that!!!! It really hurts when he says I hate him and the other part is kinda personal n he knows what it is. But all in all I do love him n care about him!!!!

You are SO loved

My love, my life, my forever…. I love you more than ever. I care like I never did before and am sorry about my part in our argument. I realize it is hard to not feel loved. It makes me sad with the sancha/sancho thing. And I don't like to be teased to the extent you do about food. But all in all you are my everything….

I love you carebear